Writing Guide
15 min read

How to Write a Meaningful Jewish Obituary

A complete guide with examples, traditional elements, and step-by-step instructions

J

Jewish Traditions Expert

Religious Traditions Consultant

Judaic studies backgroundCommunity education experience

Our traditions expert provides guidance on Jewish mourning customs, drawing from traditional sources and contemporary practice. Content reflects the diversity of Jewish observance across denominations.

Writing an obituary is an act of love and remembrance—what Jewish tradition calls a final act of chesed shel emet, true kindness that can never be repaid. A well-crafted obituary honors the deceased's life, provides essential information, and offers comfort to those who mourn. This guide will help you create a meaningful tribute that blends traditional Jewish elements with personal touches.

Essential Elements of a Jewish Obituary

While styles vary, most Jewish obituaries include these core components:

Key Components

  • Full Name: English and Hebrew names (including maiden name for women)
  • Age: At time of death
  • Date of Death: Including Hebrew date when applicable
  • Place of Death: City or specific location if appropriate
  • Survivors: Immediate family members
  • Predeceased: Family members who died previously
  • Life Story: Biographical highlights and achievements
  • Service Information: Funeral and shiva details
  • Memorial Contributions: Preferred charities in lieu of flowers

Opening Lines: Setting the Tone

The opening sentence establishes the obituary's tone. Traditional Jewish obituaries often begin with formal language:

Traditional Openings

  • "[Name], beloved [relationship], passed away peacefully on [date]"
  • "With heavy hearts, the family of [Name] announces their passing on [date]"
  • "[Name], z"l (zichrono/zichrona livracha - of blessed memory), died on [date]"

Contemporary Openings

  • "[Name] embraced life with joy and passed surrounded by family on [date]"
  • "The world lost a remarkable soul when [Name] died on [date]"
  • "After a life well-lived, [Name] passed peacefully on [date]"

The abbreviation "z"l" after a name signifies "may their memory be for a blessing" and is commonly used in Jewish obituaries.

Listing Family Members

Jewish obituaries typically list survivors in a specific order, though conventions have evolved to reflect modern family structures:

Traditional Order:

  1. Spouse
  2. Children (often listed eldest to youngest)
  3. Grandchildren (sometimes listed by family group)
  4. Great-grandchildren (if numerous, may say "X great-grandchildren")
  5. Siblings
  6. Other close relatives (nieces, nephews, cousins)

Modern Considerations:

  • Include step-family members and their relationships
  • List partners of adult children
  • Consider using "survived by" for living relatives and "predeceased by" for those who died previously
  • Some families list grandchildren and great-grandchildren by number rather than by name

Example Family Listing

"[Name] is survived by her devoted husband of 52 years, David; children Sarah (Michael) Goldberg, Rabbi Joshua (Rebecca) Cohen, and Daniel (Emily) Cohen; grandchildren Maya, Jacob, Hannah, Noah, and Leah; sister Ruth (Mark) Levine; and numerous nieces, nephews, and cousins. She was predeceased by her parents, Abraham and Miriam Rothstein, and her brother, Samuel Rothstein."

Crafting the Life Story

The biographical section is where you paint a picture of who the person was. Focus on what made them unique:

What to Include:

  • Birth and Early Life: Where born, family background, immigration story if applicable
  • Education: Schools attended, degrees earned, significant academic achievements
  • Career: Professional accomplishments, businesses owned, impact in field
  • Jewish Life: Synagogue membership, communal involvement, religious practices
  • Community Service: Volunteer work, board memberships, charitable causes
  • Hobbies and Interests: Passions, talents, what brought them joy
  • Personal Qualities: Character traits, how they touched others' lives
  • Military Service: Branch, years served, honors received

Pro Tips for Storytelling

  • - Use specific details and anecdotes rather than generic descriptions
  • - Let their personality shine through the writing
  • - Include quotes or favorite sayings if meaningful
  • - Balance professional achievements with personal qualities
  • - Consider what legacy they'd want remembered

Jewish-Specific Elements

Incorporating Jewish elements makes the obituary culturally authentic:

Hebrew Names:

Include the Hebrew name, especially for those active in Jewish life. Format: "[English name], known in Hebrew as [Hebrew name] bat/ben [father's Hebrew name]"

Hebrew Dates:

List both secular and Hebrew dates of death: "She passed away on January 15, 2024, corresponding to the 4th of Shevat, 5784"

Communal Roles:

Mention positions in synagogues, Jewish organizations, or Holocaust survivor status if relevant

Traditions Observed:

Reference keeping kosher, Shabbat observance, or other practices central to their identity

Israel Connection:

Note Israel visits, family there, or support for Israeli causes if significant

Service and Shiva Information

Provide clear, complete details about funeral services and shiva:

What to Include

  • Funeral Service: Date, time, location, cemetery
  • Shiva Observance: Dates, times, address(es)
  • Minyan Times: If hosting daily services
  • Private vs. Public: Specify if services are private
  • Livestream Info: If services will be broadcast
  • Meal Arrangements: If community members should bring food

Example: "Funeral services will be held Tuesday, January 16, at 11:00 AM at Temple Beth Shalom, 123 Main Street. Interment will follow at Mount Olive Cemetery. The family will receive visitors at their home, 456 Oak Avenue, from Wednesday evening through Sunday morning, with services at 7:00 PM each evening."

Memorial Contributions

Jewish tradition encourages charitable giving in memory of the deceased. Guide well-wishers by suggesting specific organizations:

"In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to [Charity Name], [Address or Website]."

Consider listing 2-3 charities that were meaningful to the deceased, such as:

  • Their synagogue
  • Jewish Federation
  • Disease research foundations
  • Educational institutions
  • Israel-related organizations
  • Local Jewish social services

Length and Style Guidelines

Length:

  • Brief: 150-250 words - basic facts, limited biography
  • Standard: 250-500 words - most common, good balance
  • Comprehensive: 500-800 words - detailed life story

Style Tips:

  • Write in past tense
  • Use respectful, dignified language
  • Avoid cliches when possible ("passed away peacefully" is acceptable, but try for specific details)
  • Be honest but kind - focus on positive qualities
  • Proofread carefully - names, dates, and titles must be accurate
  • Consider having family members review before publication

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Incomplete Information: Missing service details or contact information
  • Name Errors: Misspelled names or incorrect relationships
  • Omitting Family: Accidentally leaving out a child or grandchild
  • Too Generic: Using vague descriptions instead of specific details
  • Inappropriate Humor: Jokes or casual language that seems disrespectful
  • Privacy Violations: Including sensitive information the deceased wouldn't want shared
  • Rushing: Publishing without proper review and accuracy checking

Sample Jewish Obituary

Miriam Ruth Cohen, z"l

Miriam Ruth Cohen, known in Hebrew as Miriam Rivka bat Avraham, passed away peacefully on January 15, 2024 (4th of Shevat, 5784), surrounded by her loving family. She was 87 years old.

Born in Brooklyn, New York, to immigrant parents Abraham and Sarah Weinstein, Miriam grew up steeped in Jewish tradition and values. She graduated from Brooklyn College in 1958 with a degree in education and dedicated 35 years to teaching second grade in the New York City public schools, where she touched countless young lives with her patience, creativity, and unwavering belief in every child's potential.

Miriam married her beloved husband, Rabbi David Cohen, in 1960, and together they built a life centered on family, faith, and community service. She was an active member of Temple Beth Shalom for over 50 years, serving on the Sisterhood board and coordinating the synagogue's meals for mourners program. Her legendary challah, baked fresh every Friday, was shared generously with neighbors, newcomers, and anyone in need of comfort.

An avid reader and lifelong learner, Miriam participated in weekly Torah study groups well into her 80s. She traveled to Israel seven times and maintained close relationships with family there. Her home was always open, her table always welcoming, and her warmth touched all who knew her.

Miriam is survived by her devoted husband of 63 years, Rabbi David Cohen; her children, Sarah (Michael) Goldberg, Rabbi Joshua (Rebecca) Cohen, and Daniel (Emily) Cohen; five adoring grandchildren, Maya, Jacob, Hannah, Noah, and Leah; her sister, Ruth (Mark) Levine; and numerous nieces, nephews, and cousins who treasured her wisdom and love. She was predeceased by her parents and her brother, Samuel Weinstein.

Funeral services will be held Wednesday, January 17, at 11:00 AM at Temple Beth Shalom, 789 Main Street. Interment will follow at Mount Sinai Cemetery. The family will sit shiva at their home, 456 Oak Avenue, from Wednesday evening through Sunday morning, with services at 7:00 PM each evening.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Temple Beth Shalom or the Alzheimer's Association. May her memory be for a blessing.

Getting Help

Writing an obituary during a time of grief can be overwhelming. Don't hesitate to ask for help:

  • Many funeral homes offer writing assistance
  • Family members can collaborate on drafts
  • Rabbis or cantors often provide guidance
  • Professional obituary writers are available
  • Online tools and templates can provide structure

Need Help Writing?

Our interactive obituary helper guides you through the process step-by-step, making it easier to create a meaningful tribute during a difficult time.

Try Our Obituary Helper

Frequently Asked Questions

What should be included in a Jewish obituary?

A Jewish obituary should include: full English and Hebrew names, age and date of death (including Hebrew date), place of death, surviving and predeceased family members, life story and achievements, Jewish communal involvement, funeral and shiva details, and memorial contribution suggestions in lieu of flowers.

How do I write the Hebrew name in an obituary?

Include the Hebrew name after the English name, formatted as: "[English name], known in Hebrew as [Hebrew name] bat/ben [father's Hebrew name]". For example: "Miriam Ruth Cohen, known in Hebrew as Miriam Rivka bat Avraham." Some also include the mother's Hebrew name.

What does "z"l" mean in a Jewish obituary?

Z"l is an abbreviation for "zichrono livracha" (for a man) or "zichrona livracha" (for a woman), meaning "may their memory be for a blessing." It's customary to add this honorific after the name of the deceased in Jewish obituaries.

Should I include the Hebrew date of death?

Yes, including the Hebrew date alongside the secular date is traditional and meaningful, as the Hebrew date (yahrzeit) is used to observe the annual commemoration. Example: "January 15, 2024, corresponding to the 4th of Shevat, 5784."

How long should a Jewish obituary be?

Jewish obituaries typically range from 250-500 words for a standard obituary with good biographical detail. Brief obituaries run 150-250 words, while comprehensive ones with detailed life stories may be 500-800 words.

Why do Jewish obituaries say "in lieu of flowers"?

Traditional Jewish funerals do not include flowers, as they emphasize simplicity and equality in death. Instead, charitable donations in memory of the deceased are encouraged—continuing their legacy through tzedakah (righteous giving).

Conclusion

A well-written obituary is more than an announcement - it's a lasting tribute that honors a life lived and provides comfort to those who mourn. By blending factual information with personal touches and Jewish tradition, you create a meaningful memorial that celebrates your loved one's unique legacy.

Take your time, involve family members, and remember that there's no single "right" way to write an obituary. What matters most is that it authentically represents the person you're honoring and provides the information mourners need to pay their respects.

May the memory of your loved one be for a blessing